Teacher Preacher

There's something about the unholy union of rap and Christians that just doesn't quite seem right. You know, like an autistic kid, just sitting there staring into space, maybe once in a while asking you to look at pictures of school buses on Google. It's just not right.

But low and behold Teacher Preacher has come to show us all the way. On first glance he's just like every other Hispanic male in an over sized t-shirt, and you really wouldn't think to look twice. But since I'm reviewing this, I have to listen, so you better be grateful.

The first track is "Oooooh Weeeee," an experiment to see if one mere Mexican can get people to listen to him talk like a baby for a couple of minutes. In fact "Oooooh Weeeee" is every other word, and I would imagine because it's the only interesting part of the song. The beat is boring and bland, and sounds like it came with a t-shirt. I think he said something about a dirty mouth and trying to get the dirty out or something, I don't know, and I don't care.

Then there is "Carry My Cross," a delightful song written on an old Casiotone keyboard. Apparently Teacher Preacher has the burden of having to carry a cross. He is also apparently the second coming. It figures the second coming would be a border hopper, and it figures that the man upstairs has taken to hiring cheap labor. Listen here "God" you get what you pay for, and clearly this is no exception, because this shit sucks.

Don't get me wrong though, it's not the worst out there, but it certainly is banal enough to make anyone, even the most hardcore rap fan pass it over unknowingly. Christians however will probably love this music, but then again they believe a talking snake tricked a woman into eating fruit and now we're all fucked.

Thanks a lot Eve.

Teacher Preacher gets 2 out of 5

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