Ladies and gentleman, have I got some news for you! I just got an add request from the OFFICIAL BRITTANI MORRIS MUSIC PAGE! Let me tell you how excited I am. FINALLY, transsexuals with fetal alcohol syndrome are going to have their day. It's been a long time coming, but the music industry is going to see what talent they behold, and how their prejudice has only cost them in the long ru--- you know what I can't do it. I can't for one moment pretend that I'm at all excited about this chick.
Now call me an asshole if you want, and believe me people have, but I'm just tired of all these average looking, slightly overweight girls, who think they're going to be the next pop diva. Sure, it's good to have dreams, we all do, mine end up with me holding a carving knife naked in a kiddie pool full of vanilla pudding wearing a dashiki, but what can you do? I know what Brittani can do. In fact Brittani I'm going to lay it out for you right here. You need to give up your hopes, give up your dreams. You'll never matter, you'll never be famous, you'll never be rich, you'll never be on MTV.
Why is this you may ask? Well it's simple. First of all, you have a myspace page advertising yourself, and while that's generally what you're supposed to do, you want to advertise in a way that draws people in, and lets them know you have something they are interested in. The way to do this is show the product, let it stand out, let people se
e it in action. As an example we can take car commercials. They show us test drivers (or computer generated images) speeding their cars down windy highways, and their SUVs, speeding through immensely lit cities, or their trucks climbing tall mountains. They stand out. They're in the spotlight. So what do you do? You show us two tracks, where you're just the back up singer for a few seconds, while some typical lame idiot raps about stupid shit. It's like a Dodge commercial where they show a Stratus, but blocking the view is a BMW.(Pictured, Brittany as seen through the eyes of a serial killer)
Not saying this guy is a BMW though, because all he raps about is the same trite, boring, and childish bullshit mainstream hiphop has been rapping about for years now. Women, money, and using money to get women. I understand that black people had it rough for a very, VERY, long time, but it does a great disservice to people like Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcolm X, to regress your entire culture into one big $100 bill orgy. It's like mainstream hiphop WANTS to be seen as the exact lame stereotypes racist white idiots have been pushing on them for years.
But I digress, what also stands out, is the fact that you can't sing Britanni. I'm going to give it to you straight here. You just can't sing. You sound like every other girl in hiphop on the radio, and imitating the same vocal style as someone else, is NOT singing. However you do a mean impression of a girl singing hiphop on the radio. Props on that.
If you want to go anywhere Brittani you have to be unique, you have to stand out, you have to bring something new to the table. Otherwise you're just another black and white fish in a sea of black and white fish, and the colorful fish are moving right by you.
Brittani I give you 1 out of 5 stars. That's an "E" for effort I guess.
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